the first-timers’ guide to Christian memoir-writing

This is a long one, but I hope will be really helpful to those considering writing a book of their testimony/ memoir…

Since I published my first book, Friend of God – a memoir – I have become aware of multiple Christians embarking on writing their first book, also in memoir form.

In my personal experience I have observed that Christians seem more likely to attempt a memoir than other first-time writers. While it may be that I am more aware of this because of my own story, I also suspect that there could be a wider reason: that although many never considered themselves as – nor even aspired to be – writers, they do have a testimony of God’s goodness that they feel compelled to share with the world.  And this is a great reason for writing!

However, it can present a problem.  Writing a good memoir involves more than simply telling one’s story.  First-time writers are often unprepared for the discouraging and time-consuming hard work of editing and polishing that follows the first draft (I know I was), and this can prove even more brutal for non-writer Christians with only honest intentions and a good testimony.

So, I just wanted to share a few tips from my perspective.  Bear in mind: I have NOT arrived.  Some of these tips are things I wish I had known before self-publishing my own memoir – I may re-write it yet.  And if you read my book (please do!) you could find areas where I did not follow the advice that follows. But still, having reviewed several memoirs for first-time-writer friends, I wanted to share some helpful guidelines that can help you take your first draft and turn it into something more suitable to send to beta-readers/ potential publishers… (NEVER send your first draft to beta-readers or editors!)

Especially if you are a pantser like me – someone who writes ‘by the seat of their pants’ without much of a plan besides getting the story down and letting it unfold before them – the chances are your first draft will be rough.  Even if you were writing to a plan (hopefully using the points mentioned below as a guide), you will have poured your heart and soul into it.  Assuming it’s a memoir, you will probably have relived the agony and the ecstasy of key moments from your life.  You are probably exhausted and thoroughly relieved to have finished.

So now it is vital that you ‘put it to bed’.  If it’s in paper form, put it away in a drawer. It it’s a file on your computer, close it.  Now leave it alone for several months.  I would suggest two months as the absolute minimum needed to really forget what you have written, which is exactly what you need to do so that when you come back to it you can read it with a more detached (critical) gaze.

When you and your manuscript have rested well, it is time for your first edit. This is where you need to read with a critical eye.  And these are five areas you need to watch out for. Ideally you will have had these in mind as you wrote the first draft, but whether you did or not, these will be really helpful as you work through each chapter:

1/ Readers
Who are you writing to? If you want non-Christians to read your book you MUST watch out for jargon and any areas where they may not understand your experiences. If you cannot leave out jargon/ religious terminology, make sure you explain it in footnotes or endnotes.
Ideally have someone you know in mind who you are writing to – it will help your voice stay consistent. Imagine that person reading it – will they understand? If not, you know you need to clarify.

2/ Message
Other than simply telling your story, what is the point your book is trying to make? Ideally you will have had an idea of your message before you started writing, but I confess I didn’t – not consciously at least. It was only as I edited mine that I realised I most wanted to write about my developing personal friendship with God in such a way that it invited the reader to find his friendship too.
If the stories in your book do not help build your main point/ message, LEAVE THEM OUT (however fond you are of them) – they will only distract, and potentially confuse your reader or lose their interest.

Also, assuming you are writing a Christian memoir, make sure God is the star of your story by including “but God” moments. I spelt them out literally at the close of each of my chapters (eg “I made a mistake BUT GOD saved me”). You don’t have to do that so obviously, but it is important to leave your reader with the clear sense that on your own you would not have made it without God stepping in. Testimony is meant to glorify God, not us.

3/ Structure
With memoir it is usually best to write chronologically, so the reader can take the journey with you. Ideally you will start with a dramatic ‘crisis’ moment or pivotal point in your life that will draw the reader in, then you can go back to the beginning and show the journey that brought you to the opening moment, and then follow the story through to its resolution. But generally, especially if you are an inexperienced writer, I don’t recommend more jumping about too much in a timeline: sticking to chronological writing is most accessible.  And remember, you need to tell a story with a beginning, middle and some sort of conclusion.

Where possible, use dialogue – it can really bring your story to life. But don’t shoehorn it in so it sticks out and jars the reader with a sudden change – you want it to flow naturally.

And have logical chapter breaks. That may be as simple as one year per chapter, but it is more likely to make sense if you stick to a separate theme per chapter, as life events rarely limit themselves to within a single year. Treating each chapter as a mini-book is really helpful: let each one have a start that introduces the theme, then the story itself, and then an ending that at least partly concludes that theme.
Each of these mini-themes will contribute and build towards the over-all message, so remember to keep that in mind, but try to make sure there is a challenge or a revelation (or both) to each chapter. For example, I had individual stories in all my chapters that each showed a different aspect of God’s character, but I also made sure that throughout the book there was a progression showing how my friendship with Him developed – through good times and bad.

A really helpful practice is to draw up a chart like the example below from my own memoir– either before you write, or as you edit. I did mine in the edit stage and it greatly helped me to track the over-all progression, and to weed out the chapters that weren’t necessary because they had no fresh point to make…

Chapter/ TitleEventPoint to chapter – aspects of God’s characterMain Theme – developing friendship
1/ My BeginningIntro, meeting God, & wardrobe falling on meGod my friend who watches over meDiscovering God’s presence
2/ Troubled TeenShoplifting, God speaking while in GermanyGod found me when I was lostFirst time hearing His ‘voice’
3/ Clueless but ProtectedThe groomersGod protected me when I was ignorant of dangerLearning (failing) to recognise His Spirit warning me

etc…

4/ Description
Use description. Don’t just stick to bare facts as they can quickly become boring. You’re telling a (true) story and want your reader to take the journey with you, which is best achieved through descriptive writing that draws them in. Especially in your key scenes, practice using the five senses to help describe the surroundings and make it easier for your reader to picture and ‘enter in to’ the scene with you. I also recommend finding some resources on “show not tell” (not one of my natural strengths, so I had to work hard on it!) as it can make your writing much more vivid and accessible.

5/ Tone
Writing the way you talk (as if you were writing a letter to a friend) is the best way to find your natural voice. You can polish the punctation and grammar later.

The absolute key principle for tone in memoir writing is that it needs to be open and honest, so try to avoid writing as the “omniscient narrator”. Even if you are writing in the past tense, writing as one who now has all the answers can be boring and very off-putting. Present yourself as you were at the time of the event. Be open about your short-comings and the things you didn’t know at the time, and your reader will be more likely to relate and take the journey with you, discovering the mysteries as they unfold before them.
And as you are writing memoir, it must be honest (so don’t use a pseudonym). None of us can remember everything with precise, objective detail, so it can help to ask others who were around at the time for their memories of the events you describe. If you or others can’t remember certain details, a little embellishment is fine, as long as it does not detract from the truth of your story. For example, in one part of my memoir I described a Christian meeting, and I wanted to portray how overwhelmed my senses were when I walked in.  I could remember it broadly but not the specifics. However, I wanted enough detail to help draw the reader in, so although I couldn’t remember with certainty what particular scents were in the air, I took a guess at rose and incense.  If it’s untrue I don’t think it matters as it wasn’t the main point of the story. I just wanted to help the reader enter in so they could access the truth of the story:  that it was a sensory feast.

And do be clear. Make sure the reader understands the difference between the facts you are telling them and your thoughts and feelings. Both are important contributors to the story, but if you want them to trust your voice as authentic, you need to demonstrate self-awareness of your own limited perspective.

What’s Next?
Once you have completed your first edit, it is time to send your manuscript (MS) out to beta-readers. You need to get a good balance of people who will encourage you but also be able to identify weak areas that need work. For this reason, I don’t tend to recommend family or friends unless they are writers themselves. One biased person can be helpful – they might think whatever you do is brilliant & not be able to critique much, but we all need that kind of positivity to encourage us on. But generally, you want to ask fellow writers who understand the craft. If you don’t know any, I recommend asking in the Kingdom Story Writers, or the Association of Christian Writers, both of which have groups on Facebook. Tell them how many words are in your MS, the genre, and if you have a deadline by which you would like their feedback (you need to allow at least a month or two, depending on the length of your work).

Now prepare to feel vulnerable and exposed. Especially when the feedback starts coming in. Unless you happen to have written a genius-level masterpiece, you will receive notes on the weak areas of your book that need work. This is normal for all writers, and does not mean your book is rubbish – just that your beta-readers want to help you improve it.  Whatever you do, don’t get rid of your MS. Give yourself time to recover from any emotional sting that you may have received in the criticism, then read it with an open mind, and get to work on making the improvements they highlighted. You don’t have to make every change suggested – you are the author after all. But at least seriously consider every comment. Once you have gone through all the feedback (and tweaked anything else you noticed) you have completed your second edit.

At this point you may want to send it out for another round of feedback & subsequent editing (especially if there were a lot of changes made). Or if you are happy with it, you could now submit it to publishers. If you have decided to self-publish, employ a professional editor/proof-reader/cover designer. You want to make your book as good and accessible to as many people as possible. A good cover is essential – don’t skimp on that.
But even if you can’t afford any of this, don’t be put off. Your testimony is important, and it’s better to have an imperfect testimony out there than no testimony at all. So get that book out there! And hooray for your courage and perseverance. Many give up before this step, so if you have got this far you, my dear writer, are an overcomer!