Tag: jesus

seeking first the kingdom

~ Rachel Yarworth, writer ~ 2 Comments

Early on in my book-publishing journey, I was blessed to learn of and then attend the first Kingdom Story Writers retreat (in 2023). I had recently self-published my first book, Friend of God, in simple obedience to God’s leading and was eager to continue writing, but was wrestling with imposter syndrome, convinced I was ‘not a proper writer’, and with no idea of how to get there. In my mind, proper writers made a living from it, won awards for their work, and generally knew what they were doing – none of which applied to me. But it was the ‘kingdom’ aspect of the retreat that called to me, as a word that God and I had been chatting about a lot at that time, so I stuffed down the imposter feelings, and went anyway.

The retreat was a blessing on many levels, but there were two lasting impacts that I am most grateful for: the enduring friendship of some brilliant, Godly people; and my confirmation as/ commissioning to be a kingdom writer. I was released from the pressure of being a full-time professional writer, striving for recognition or awards – or even publishing deals – and released into the blessing of simply writing for God, in the company of others with the same calling. I am free to write everything with the purpose of seeking His kingdom first. I do my best for Him, but I’m not chasing awards or a full-time income, or even a publishing deal, just the certainty of knowing I am writing as He leads, to help people get to know Him better. The rest is entirely in His hands, and I have found total, genuine peace in that.

But the funny thing is, that verse about seeking first the kingdom, has a second part to it:

Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. (Matthew 6:33)

Since I was released just to write as God leads, without checking to see what comes of it, I have been contacted out of the blue to do three separate paid writing/ editing jobs this year! One of my books – Finding Jesus in the Wilderness – has been short-listed for ACW’s Book of the Year 2025 award! And I have started a Substack column with two subscription tiers: free, and paid (both at God’s leading). I fully expected all my subscribers to choose the free option as I would, and in fact have repeatedly told them the paid version doesn’t properly start until January ’26. And yet, 20% of my subscribers have already signed up for the paid tier (see today’s screenshot from my Substack)

I even had a message from Substack this weekend to say that I am now in the top 50 writers in the ‘faith and spirituality’ bracket! (though I sadly can’t find the message to share now).

AND on top of all that, as I have been tithing the very small amounts of money that come in, God has been getting money to me in other ways, to make sure I have enough in my account to pay for the next book! Honestly, I am overwhelmed. I haven’t yet covered all my publication costs so far, but I am heading in that direction, thanks to Him.

I’m not saying any of this to brag on me, but rather on God, and how faithful HE is to keep His Word. As I have genuinely sought to serve Him and His kingdom, He has been promoting my writing. I still don’t care about the awards – it will be lovely if I win but I don’t expect to – I’m just thankful for the vote of confidence from other writers that took me to the shortlist. And as much as I would love to do this paid, full-time – that’s not what drives me. If the money stops tomorrow and nobody else subscribes, I will still write for God, because it’s knowing that I’m co-labouring with Him in it all that is more fulfilling than anything the world can offer.

But I just wanted to share this testimony for anyone else who may be struggling with their identity as a writer. You don’t have to follow the world’s ideals. Let go of your worries and just write your best for God and His kingdom, and the rewards – in this life and the next – may or may not look like mine, but they will be more than you can possibly imagine!

All praise to our faithful God!

Language of Light

~ Rachel Yarworth, writer ~ Leave a comment

It’s funny how Pavlovian our brains can be.  Once an association is made, it can be painfully difficult to detach. Take, for example, the Mick Ray song from 1978, “I get so excited Lord every time I realise… I’ve forgiven, I’m forgiven” (yep, showing my age there). It’s not a song that crops up often nowadays, but if it did, my mind would no doubt jump straight to the memory of my husband and friends in mischievous mode, deliberately mis-singing “every time I realise… I’m a gibbon, I’m a gibbon”. Then there’s the more innocent association of not being able to hear a sermon about the disciples without remembering my first child in all his adorable infancy unable to pronounce the word, so calling them “surprisels” instead. Heart-achingly cute, and all the more poignant because said adorable child is now a 6ft 5in grown man with stubble and a razor-sharp wit.

Whether these word-associations/ mispronunciations are deliberate or innocent, they cling stubbornly to our psyches, and can sometimes even interrupt our Bible reading.  I’m thinking of Isaiah 60:1 – “Arise, shine, for your light has come…”  a verse which I rarely read past the first two words without an inane chorus of hand-puppets taking over my mind, singing “and give God the glory, glory”.  Please reassure me I’m not the only one…?  Who else has a tripwire in worship or the Word?

See, reading the Bible can be hard enough without the distracting combination of an active imagination and the conditioning espoused by Mr Pavlov.

But when I read Isaiah 60:1-2 the other day, something remarkable happened. The chorus appeared as they usually do, but then so did the Holy Spirit.
And I read, “Arise, shine; For your light has come! And the glory of the LORD is risen upon you. For behold, the darkness shall cover the earth, And deep darkness the people; But the LORD will arise over you, And His glory will be seen upon you.” (NKJV)

And another, mercifully non-puppet association came to mind:
Matthew 5:14-16 says “You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.”

God has spoken to me from this part of Matthew 5 before, convicting me of His desire for me to embrace that dreaded of activities, “promo”, as a way of lifting high the light He has given me to share, for all to see. So it’s already a treasured verse. And this time as I read both verses together I had a sudden mental image that was nothing to do with Pavlov, but – I believe – a lot more divinely inspired.

I saw a room filled with candles, of all different shapes and sizes. Fat, thin, tall, short, and in a whole spectrum of colours.  The light in the room drew dim, until it was so dark you couldn’t see the candles at all. But then a match was lit and began to touch the candlewicks. And as each candle started to burn, the room became filled with countless identical flames, each one adding to the light in the room. No matter the size or shape of each candle, each one burned with an equal flame, adding to the beauty of the glorious light, and together causing the darkness to flee.

And I felt God say to me, “Wouldn’t it be pointless for these candles to compare themselves to each other and write themselves off as a result? They just each need to embrace their purpose to shine their own light, and in doing so, add to My glorious Kingdom light that pushes back the darkness.”

And I remembered times when I have fallen into the trap of imposter syndrome, thinking, “I can’t be a proper writer – I’m not as good as ** at writing Biblical epics, or ** at writing poetry, or ** at reigning over Social Media” etc. But that’s just like looking at other candles, whether fat, short, or beautifully decorated, and deciding that because my little candle is not like theirs, it’s inferior. So what if my candle (book) is skinnier than a big fat Biblical epic, or plain white next to a beautifully decorated, skilfully written novel? If I let that stop me shining my light, the world would be dimmer for it, especially if the people who read my little book didn’t read the others. And the point is, as Isaiah and Matthew both shared, we all have a light to shine: the light of Christ. We don’t need to compete; we just all need to shine our kingdom light in our own way.  For to disqualify ourselves from writing – or whatever you love doing for Jesus – would be to cease shining.  And the world is an increasingly dark place that needs us ALL to shine so everyone can see the Father for themselves. So let’s keep writing, and shining our light…

And now I can’t read Isaiah 60 or Matthew 5 without seeing that mental image of the room filled with candles.  To be honest, the puppet chorus is still there in the background – in fact they’re now singing “this little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine…”.  But as associations go, that’s not such a bad one. I’ll take it.

Photo by Irina Anastasiu on Pexels.com

project lampstand

~ Rachel Yarworth, writer ~ Leave a comment

It is neither a secret nor a surprise that I – and many writers – struggle with the promotional aspect of publishing books. Especially for those of us who are introverts, holing up and scribbling (or typing) away for hours… days… months on end can feel like lovely self-indulgence at times. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still hard work – especially once you hit editing stage – but it’s largely hidden and ‘safe’. However once our precious books are finally published and we just want a good rest to recover from the exertion of it all, that can be when the even harder work begins: the excruciating torture of promotion and advertising our work in order to persuade countless people, both friends and strangers, to part with their hard-earned money in order to read what we have produced. *Shudder*

And having had time off after Finding Jesus in the Wilderness came out (because I was genuinely exhausted… and then it was Christmas…) I entered this year with absolutely zero momentum or motivation. But it’s something I know I need to do. So at a recent prayer zoom for writers (thank you Kingdom Story Writers), I asked for prayer that God would find a way to help with my motivation (I think I actually asked for Him to give me a loving kick up the behind!) Then this weekend I met with the KSW team to plan our upcoming retreat (in May – watch this space for more info to come soon). Oh it is so GOOD to meet with like-minded fellow Kingdom writers! We did achieve the planning needed, but also enjoyed plenty of rich time together sharing encouragement and practical advice which gave me some ideas to get me pointed in a helpful direction.

And after everyone had left and I got some time to chat with God, He took me to the well-known verses from Mark 4:21-22,
“He said to them, “Do you bring in a lamp to put it under a bowl or a bed? Instead, don’t you put it on its stand? For whatever is hidden is meant to be disclosed, and whatever is concealed is meant to be brought out into the open.”

Talk about motivation (or a kick up the behind, if you prefer)! I do believe that in the books that I have written I have done my best to shine my light as clearly and openly as I can. I don’t think I have tried to conceal or hide them (though the ‘bowls’ of shame, imposter syndrome and self doubt, and the ‘beds’ of laziness or procrastination are always lurking as temptations). But I can see that I do need to make a conscious decision to lift up the light in my books and put it on a lampstand: to do everything in my power to help people see what God has given through me.

And that is all the motivation I need. So I am in. I’m asking God to give me a budget and a strategy in order to promote my books and shine His light as bright as I can… and then trust Him with the rest. I don’t fully know what that will look like, but I do think it will involve an upcoming blog tour, plus possible newsletters, giveaways, reviews, opportunities for support etc. All things that will probably still make me cringe inwardly. But I am going to do my best to be brave nonetheless and embrace “project lampstand”.

“Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.”
(Matt 5:16)

Image by Ragu Jeevith from Pixabay

the cost

~ Rachel Yarworth, writer ~ 1 Comment

I have two blogs: one here on my writer website, which is about my writing journey, and my ‘In the Secret Place’ blog where I write about the things that God and I chat about. So when I talk with Him about my writing, it can cause a conundrum: where to post? Well today I am posting here because I think it will be an encouragement to other Kingdom writers, mostly…

You probably know that last week I published not one, but two books. Other writers – particularly the self-published ones – will know that this is a far more exhausting process than most people realise. And coming as it did at a time when I was dealing with other intense life situations, I felt utterly worn out by the day after publication day. Fair warning: what follows is self-pitying, which I wouldn’t usually share – but I believe it’s important to acknowledge the temptations we face when we are exhausted…

In my depleted state, my emotions were running high. I had poured myself into this book, not just for the year that it took to write and edit it, but also the previous two years’ experience of struggle and pain in the wilderness that I wrote about. I’m still in it – God asked me to write while I was still in the wilderness myself, so I did, thanks only to His grace that kept me going – and by the end I felt every bit of how much it had cost to publish this book. I was completely spent. It wasn’t even just the book: I had slogged away to produce endless promotional material for Social Media, because when you don’t have a famous name or a big publishing house behind you, that is what is required to get your book in front of people. But I find it utterly soul-destroying and only do it because I want to be faithful to get the message out that I believe God wants to bless His people with. And all that promo, the year of writing/ editing, and the years of suffering? It all led to a couple of dozen sales (so far). That’s it. The temptation to judge success by numbers of sales is a cruel one indeed.

I know God is in this book. I know (because all readers so far have said) that it is a deep resource of treasure for those who will read it. But I also know (partly because of the crazy levels of opposition that have arisen) that the enemy does not want people to read it. And honestly, I feel too exhausted to fight back. And so in the temptations to self-pity that followed, I heard – or felt – the nasty thought cross my mind: “Why bother? What was the point of all that cost – for nothing?” When we are tired and our guard is down, the enemy is skilled at making his voice sound like our own thoughts and feelings.

Now, I do know it wasn’t for nothing. I know there are people out there whose lives have already been changed by reading the book. So that alone means it was worth it. And honestly, I do know that the true judge of success is whether I obeyed God and did as He asked – which to the best of my ability, I believe I did. So it’s all good: my feelings will calm down as I recover, and all will be well. But God in His endless compassion and mercy did not leave it there. In a prayer meeting last night with some beautiful writer friends, every one of whom is bravely sacrificing themselves in order to write words that will give honour and glory to God, God showed me a picture of Mary with her broken alabaster jar, pouring perfume over Jesus’ feet and weeping as she did so (John 12:3). His hand rested lovingly on her head and He was breathing in the beautiful aroma.
Then I heard the lyrics from an old song: “you don’t know the cost of the oil from my alabaster box.”
And the point was this: He DOES know. Even if nobody else does. He sees the cost, and receives it as a fragrant offering. We are all broken vessels. Maybe another day I’ll share the values of alabaster – or you can look it up and see what God shows you through it. But what God showed me was the high value He places on the perfumed oil produced by crushing, then poured out through our brokenness. He sees that our writing for Him IS costly and He receives it as worship, as we value Him far more than whatever it costs us to write.

And this morning as I thanked Him for last night’s picture He spoke to me again. Some of it was personal, to be treasured in my heart only. And some of it I felt permission to share, in the hope that it will speak to and encourage you also. He said,
“I see your sacrifice, beloved, and I receive it. It is a beautiful fragrance to Me, fully acceptable in my sight. Now as I receive it, trust it fully to My hands, and let it go. I have received it all, so it cannot be wasted. Even if nobody else sees it (which is not My will) that is not your concern. You have poured it out at My feet: it is spilled; you cannot scoop it back into a container to hold on to now. It is My treasure, for Me to do with as I will. And I thank You for it, for it is a most precious gift to Me. Thank You, My love.”

What a blessing. How kind He always is! I don’t know whether or not He will ask me to do any more ‘promo’ – that’s up to Him. All I know is, the matter is settled in my heart. My books are an offering to HIM, and their value cannot be measured in how many people do or do not see/ buy/ read them. As usual, the enemy’s temptations have been silenced by God’s Word. I am so grateful. And the cost? Well I could never out-give what He has given me! So it was totally worth it.

Photo by jaikishan patel on Unsplash

Ruach – a poem

~ Rachel Yarworth, writer ~ 1 Comment

One thing about poetry – although i love it for its free-flowing and slightly anarchic disrespect of the usual rules of good writing – that same freedom often means I’m never 100% sure what makes a poem – well, a poem. Take this morning’s offering. It came out of my own prayer time with God. He had been speaking to me about the need to be FILLED with the Holy Spirit, and as I pictured my lungs being filled with good rich air and felt all the emotions involved, I wrote down my response. It didn’t follow the rules of prose (full sentences, proper grammar, paragraphs etc), and was much more a kind of creative representation of the thoughts and emotions of my response. So I call it poetry, because that seems the closest I get to expressing feelings in words. But even then – is it really poetry? I don’t know. Maybe I’ll just call it writing…

Ruach, Breath of God

Holy Spirit in this quiet place,
breathe on me…
Like the first divine breath that gave life to mankind,
Essence of life,
breathe on me again…
Be the breath filling my lungs, that keeps me alive,
the wind filling my sails, that keeps me moving forward,
the air filling my tyres, that protects me from bumps in this road.

Fill me with your breath, your love, your presence, your empowering grace,
that I might live Your life abundantly.
Let my spirit breathe deep, lungs FILLED with you –
not gasping, expiring, fading away as one who forgets
to breathe.

Holy Spirit, here and now I breathe you in as the very oxygen I need to survive,
And exhale the cares of this world that tighten my chest.
I breathe in your grace…
and let go of shoulds.
I breathe in your acceptance…
and let go of rejection.
I breathe in your love…
and let go of fear.
I breathe in your mercy…
and let go of shame.
I breathe in your presence…
and let go of self.

Let my every breath be filled with you.
May I never forget to keep breathing.
Inhale…
and exhale…
Keep breathing
my Ruach.

come to me

~ Rachel Yarworth, writer ~ Leave a comment

If I have a single message – a core value that all my writing comes back to – it is this: God desires relationship with you, not religion. He doesn’t just want to be believed in (even demons believe in Him – James 2:18); He wants to be KNOWN. Personally.

There were two occasions this week when that message was highlighted to me again. Firstly during my daily Bible reading which took me to Isaiah 28:13…
“So then, the word of the Lord to them will become:
do this, do that,
a rule for this, a rule for that,
a little here, a little there,
so that as they go they will fall backwards;
they will be injured and snared and captured” (NIV)

It seemed to me to epitomise the tragic descent from hearing the life-giving revelation of God’s word, into a bunch of religious rules followed by those who have never heard God for themselves. The Pharisees were a prime example, taking the law given to Moses and adding rules upon rules until those who wanted to serve God were trapped in legalism. Tragically, church-goers across the world today still experience this kind of religious observance of rules and miss the joy and freedom of walking with God Himself. For when we don’t know Him and walk with Him in relationship, we have to resort to what other people have said about Him, rightly or wrongly: a two-dimensional second-hand representation. It’s no substitute for the real thing, loving relationship with God Himself.

So, He invites us to walk with Him. In Matthew 11:28, Jesus words are recorded: “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavily burdened [by religious rituals that provide no peace], and I will give you rest [refreshing your souls with salvation]” (AMP)

It is only by coming to HIM, in person, that we receive rest from religion, and our souls are saved.

The second thing that struck me this week happened while I was reading a fiction book set in the times when Jesus physically walked on earth. A character was discussing the crowds that followed Jesus hoping to be healed, and I suddenly saw the scene before me: Jesus walking through a town where hundreds, if not thousands, gathered hoping for a touch. And a question rose within me: if Jesus’ mission was all about healing, why didn’t He just gather a crowd together and then command them all to be healed in one go, when clearly He had the authority and power to do so?

As soon as I asked the question I heard the reply:

“Because I wanted them to come to ME”

There are several accounts of Jesus healing in crowds. These are a few: Matthew 15:30 says, “Great crowds came to him, bringing the lame, the blind, the crippled, the mute and many others, and laid them at his feet; and he healed them” (NIV). Matthew 4:24 says, “people soon began bringing to him all who were sick. And whatever their sickness or disease, or if they were demon possessed or epileptic or paralyzed—he healed them all” (NLT). Luke 4:40 says “all those who had any that were sick with various diseases brought them to Him; and He laid His hands on every one of them and healed them” (NKJV).

Evidently it was about the personal touch: whether being laid at His feet, or touched by His hands -the vast majority* of the people healed by Jesus were those who encountered Him and saw the love and compassion in His eyes as he healed them (*and for those few exceptions who were healed ‘in absentia’, it was after a friend encountered Him personally). If He had healed people en masse they would have been blessed by the healing but missed the most important point: encountering Him personally. (Healing is great, but knowing Him is better. Our physical wellbeing is only an issue during this brief lifetime; knowing Him is for eternity).

I heard a well known Christian preach his theory about Jesus not healing everyone, saying that when Jesus left town there would have been people left behind who weren’t healed, delivered, or raised from the dead. From that assumption he inferred that Jesus didn’t want everyone healed, but that does not seem to match with the Bible teaching that Jesus healed ALL who came to Him. Because God never turns anyone away. He wants everyone to personally receive His love and favour and to enter into relationship with Him, so that when this life is over and we step into eternity, He will have no cause to say “I never knew you” as He said to those who claimed to do great things on His behalf (Matthew 7:23). No, when we know Him and walk with Him, we will be with Him forever, continuing the relationship that can only begin here.

So today I am meditating on those words, “Come to ME”, and praying for myself and for you that we will lay aside all empty religion and simply come to Him, to truly get to know Him and walk with Him in relationship. Amen

Image by lauwahyuen from Pixabay